The late Dark Man X once said…What you really want from a Nigga? So have you ever gotten something you really wanted and realized it wasn’t what you thought it would be, or didn’t make you feel how you thought it would?
I remember when I had my first epiphany about getting what I want to try to fulfill a desire within me. It happened like this, every time I got frustrated with the way my house looked I would go out and buy a bunch of home furnishings. But when I got more serious about my budget I started to focus on how can I solve my problems without purchasing something. This ultimately set off this realization within me that I didn’t need any damn new items in my house, I just needed to address the deeper issue that was bothering me at the moment. Which ended up being my entire mindset around my home and the way I think about my environment. And from that I discovered my ultimate desire was just to have an environment (home) that I loved and truly represented me.
When I discovered this desire I started to focus my purchases on buying things that truly met this desire. Not just buying things that I saw that I wanted and hope would make me happy. So I had to solve the problem from the inside out instead from the outside in. Buying more stuff for the home would never make me feel better if I never got to the root of the issue. And the root was this yearning to live according to a value system I had within me about how my home should be an extension of me.
For instance, I spent a lot of time being pissed at my family for not cleaning behind themselves but when I was in a rush to get to work I often times would not clean after myself either. So my standard needed to change. I did this by allocating enough time to get to work on time AND clean up after myself and asked my family to do the same. And I found that it was worth it to wake up 30 minutes earlier because I felt fulfilled and energized doing something that met my true desire.
Wants are tangible, desires are intangible and represents your underlying value system. Every want represents a deeper desire. However, If you don’t do the work to define the desire you could end up getting a lot of what you want and none of what you truly desire. Most people want a lot of money but have never truly thought about what they want to do with it. They just think if they get a lot of money then automatically they will be happier. But you really need to start to think about what that money or the things that you would buy with that money truly represent for you. Which values or intangibles are you striving for? And when you do this, the beautiful thing will you start to realize is that you can obtain these things no matter how much money you have.
When I started to think about my home as a place that I wanted to live my best life. I opened my mind to thinking about all the ways I am at my best at home. And what do I need to have around me to be my best. Where do things need to be placed? what smells do I like? What do I need to get rid of that’s just taking up space? So that I can create the environment I need with what I already have. And then truly focus my purchases on obtaining things that will add value to that.
So my journey was discovering anything that I ever wanted, was always representing a desire I have on the inside that I already have everything I need to meet it. So what do you really want?